Isa, dalawa...tatlong beses kong binura ang sinimulan kong isulat.
I got a lot in my mind, nagsasalimbayan all the way...saby-sabay. This month, I've learned the meaning of...'one step at a time'. Hindi dahil sa lampa ako. ehehehhe.
Tumagal ako ng 7 years sa UAE, (whaaaa! alam ko..tumatanda na talaga ako) not knowing the very purpose of my life here. Nung una, I know it is because of my family. For my mom and my brother specially. Pero ng mawala si nanay at nakatapos ang kapatid ko, everything become hazy and I, felt astray.
Nang dumating sa buhay ko si Paolyne, hindi pa ako nakakarecover sa sakit ng pagkawala ng pamilya ko. Totoo, hindi pa ako handang alagaan ang sarili kong pamilya. Inside me, alam ko...i am empty. Para bang I don't have anything to offer her. She's my baby, I know. And somehow it became like, "i have to take care" of her.
Eventually, of course, the true porblem arise. One reason siguro kung bakit ako pumayag na umuwi sya. Because I need more time for my self. Think about things and realize my priorities.
Hindi ko na maintindihan kung saan ako patungo at ano ang kahahantungan ng lahat ng ito. I tried to suffocate my self with things, other things...priorities..na hindi naman talaga ako masaya.
Maybe, I just want to have things to do to avoid thinking about what happen and forget the past.
Hindi pala tama. Until now, alam ko I haven't get over about what happened. Pero at least now I know I can deal with it...at kahit minsan tulad ng isa sa mga maling trato ko sa aking sarili, I know I could brave my self now to do what I really want to do.
Now I know how to treat my self...understand my self better.
One thing at a time. Isang problema lang. Isang bagay lang...tapos malinaw ang lahat. Tulad ng larong chess, now I know how to move my pieces.
Now I know I have loved myself...at alam ko, I can share it better to others...lalo pa ba sa anak ko.
I miss her so much. And now, manalo o matalo, sa hirap o ginhawa...magsasama kaming dalawa.
Malapit ng bumalik ang prinsesa.
I got a lot in my mind, nagsasalimbayan all the way...saby-sabay. This month, I've learned the meaning of...'one step at a time'. Hindi dahil sa lampa ako. ehehehhe.
Tumagal ako ng 7 years sa UAE, (whaaaa! alam ko..tumatanda na talaga ako) not knowing the very purpose of my life here. Nung una, I know it is because of my family. For my mom and my brother specially. Pero ng mawala si nanay at nakatapos ang kapatid ko, everything become hazy and I, felt astray.
Nang dumating sa buhay ko si Paolyne, hindi pa ako nakakarecover sa sakit ng pagkawala ng pamilya ko. Totoo, hindi pa ako handang alagaan ang sarili kong pamilya. Inside me, alam ko...i am empty. Para bang I don't have anything to offer her. She's my baby, I know. And somehow it became like, "i have to take care" of her.
Eventually, of course, the true porblem arise. One reason siguro kung bakit ako pumayag na umuwi sya. Because I need more time for my self. Think about things and realize my priorities.
Hindi ko na maintindihan kung saan ako patungo at ano ang kahahantungan ng lahat ng ito. I tried to suffocate my self with things, other things...priorities..na hindi naman talaga ako masaya.
Maybe, I just want to have things to do to avoid thinking about what happen and forget the past.
Hindi pala tama. Until now, alam ko I haven't get over about what happened. Pero at least now I know I can deal with it...at kahit minsan tulad ng isa sa mga maling trato ko sa aking sarili, I know I could brave my self now to do what I really want to do.
Now I know how to treat my self...understand my self better.
One thing at a time. Isang problema lang. Isang bagay lang...tapos malinaw ang lahat. Tulad ng larong chess, now I know how to move my pieces.
Now I know I have loved myself...at alam ko, I can share it better to others...lalo pa ba sa anak ko.
I miss her so much. And now, manalo o matalo, sa hirap o ginhawa...magsasama kaming dalawa.
Malapit ng bumalik ang prinsesa.
